Today I’m exhausted, more exhausted than usual. I had therapy early this morning. It was only for 1 hour, and it honestly wasn’t very difficult today. But I left there feeling even more exhausted. Even though if doesn’t feel hard, I think the mental load of what we’ve been doing is actually taking a larger […]
When emotion doesn’t want to be accessed Read More »
I didn’t want to write today, well, honestly, because quite a lot has been going on. And I just don’t even know how or where to start with it all. Last night was a night. And not a good one. But today is Halloween, aka my kids Favorite day. So I really wanted to focus
Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Read More »
“I’m happy. I’m sorry you’re sad, but I’m so happy that he has a good heart.” “They way that he speaks, I think they would be friends. I know that they are brothers, but I think they would be friends.” Those are both statements my husband made last night after watching the video of my
Dear son, I’m not strong enough for any more goodbyes. Read More »
(While this post is directed at a specific person, it also applies to you. Whoever is reading this. You don’t know me, but you’re still here, fighting whatever fight you’re fighting. And that’s something you should feel proud of.) Hey bud, this whole thing might sound super strange, but hang in there with me for
You don’t know me, but I’m proud of you Read More »
I wrote a post, tagged it, edited it…it took me hours to write. But I can’t publish it. Not tonight. I will tomorrow…but those words aren’t quite matching the feelings I have right now. I miss him. I just miss him so fucking much that it doesn’t make sense. It hurts. It hurts too much
There is no pain like missing someone you might never see again. Read More »
Therapy is an absolutely wild ride, friends. Seriously. You just never know what is going to happen when you walk in those doors sometimes. If you read my post from last night, you know that I was stressing out about it because I felt like there was just so much to talk about and work
“Write a book” she says. Read More »
Dear #1, Tonight is not a special night. It’s not a birthday, not an anniversary, not a momentous night by any means. But it is you who occupies my mind tonight. To be honest, you occupy my mind nearly always. But I don’t often allow the thoughts of you to grow. Thinking of you causes
Covid has stolen a lot from all of us. Directly or indirectly, it’s messed with all of our lives. In an enormous way. A few weeks ago, someone close to me lost their husband to it. One of my best friends is now struggling and fighting for her life because of it. She is in
Of all of the parts of my story, of everything that has existed in my life that has made me who I am, this is by far the hardest for me to talk about. This is the only part of my story that I can not talk about without there being almost a guarantee of
The boy who has my heart Read More »
Of all I had to deal with tonight, you were the most unexpected. I’m extremely rarely brought to tears…but tonight I easily am. In terms of the evening, in terms of what I was afraid was going to happen…things went unfortunately as expected. But I didn’t expect to see you. To see pictures of you…
Of all I had to deal with… Read More »
