I can convince myself all day long that I have my alcohol usage under control. I can convince myself, I can convince you…it’s a skill I’ve pretty much mastered at this point. More days than not this past week, I’ve woken up and wondered to myself if maybe I should, once again, *attempt* sobriety. Aside …
It’s been a rough 24 hours. And the later it gets into the night, the more I’m allowing myself to feel it. I was actually in the middle of writing my tomorrow post. A little behind the scenes for you, I like to have my posts for the day done by 8:30am at the latest. …
Will you feed my depression with chocolate and coffee and hugs? Read More »
How many times do you go to write a post, give it a title, start writing it, think of a better, more accurate title, delete what you’ve written, and start over? Usually it happens when I start writing with a filter. And it feels so fucking fake, I can’t stand it. And want to be …
Today was a rough day. That’s okay, that happens sometimes. My body has not been feeling its best self physically, my emotions are all over the place… It’s just been rough. In more ways than one. It’s nights like these, where I’m feeling a little bit extra fragile, that I need to…..be careful of. I’m …
Self medicating sucks. Until it doesn’t. And then it does again. Read More »
I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past….well, I guess my entire life. And if there’s one thing that I know to be true, it’s that when I feel alone with my emotions, I become extremely self destructive. I’m having a tough time right now. I’m going through it, I’m feeling all the fucking …
I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, to be honest, you probably haven’t…but depression is kicking my fucking ass lately. I’ve tried to mask it, tried to downplay it and ignore it…but it’s just so big right now. Tonight sucks. For what seems like “no reason in particular”…I am having a really hard night. …
I’m in a strange phase of life right now. I’ve been in it for a while, but it feels pretty significant right now. This…constant push and pull. The… I love you, I need you, please don’t leave me… I don’t need you, I’m fine on my own, go away. With my husband, with my friends, …
Well, my husband has been gone for a while now. For honestly, what feels like forever. (He’s taking care of his dad who has been in a serious health decline.) I guess I’m feeling particularly lonely tonight. And it isn’t even 9pm yet! Last night I joked that after 9pm, my life basically just becomes …
Whew. Life sure has been a whirlwind lately. I got home from my trip Saturday evening. By Monday, we got the news that my husbands dad, who has been battling cancer for a while, was not doing well. By Tuesday we were booking flights, and by Thursday, he left. My husband flew out yesterday to …
Do you ever just want to give up? Want to give in? Want to conform, want to adhere? Want to live up to societal standards of “the norm”? But just… can’t? Are you ever just so fucking sick of hiding yourself that you just………can’t anymore? Except for that face that you still have to? That’s …