That’s the question that is typically on my mind as I drive to therapy. Like, I made it through another few days, another week, and I didn’t think I would. Are you proud of me? Sometimes I wish I could talk about these things, about how much I don’t want to be alive sometimes. But […]
“Are you impressed every time I show up not dead?” Read More »
Last night, I should have had therapy….one I was looking forward to in particular…but she cancelled it mid day. Since last Friday was Good Friday, we also did not have that session. That means it’ll be nearly 2 weeks since appointments, when I typically go twice a week. Any time she cancels it changes my
When your therapist cancels your session Read More »
This is…a hard one for me to talk about. I thought about writing it, but I know I’d be less…calculated, and more raw…and while normally that’s a good thing, that’s not what I want when it comes to this topic. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to hit the publish button once this is
Does significant trauma bring permanent changes? Read More »
Okay, guys. Real talk for a minute here. I don’t fucking understand CBT. Like, I straight up, just do not get it. It frustrates me, it feels like something I already do naturally and on my on a continuous, daily basis, and I don’t see how it could ever help me and my very large,
Let’s talk about CBT. No, really. Read More »
As much as I know you’re just all dying to hear how therapy went last night, my attempts to think about it or write about it quickly got thwarted. At 7:56pm, just as we were wrapping up in therapy, I got 3 texts from my husband. “Holy shit Power out Stay put” Now…he doesn’t usually
Therapy disasters and Natural disasters Read More »
Tonight, I have therapy. A usually much welcomed and needed part to my week, suddenly is causing something much stronger than anxiety within me. When I last went on Friday…things did not end well. Much the opposite of my intentions, things went wrong, and it ended on a really hurtful note which made me feel
Anxiety on top of anxiety Read More »
Dear universe, please help me. I feel so scared and alone right now. Everything hurts and I feel like there’s no way out but…out. I’m losing ground in a battle that isn’t mine to win. I feel like I’m drowning, and instead of sending lifeboats, people are throwing rocks. Universe, I don’t ask of much
Can I be honest here? Like, brutally, terrifyingly honest? Is this a safe space? It’s not a secret that lately, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty. And for me, that looks a lot like anxiety and anger and resentment and coldness. I push people away, I live with my anxiety at a 10, and I just
Ok, let’s get real here. Read More »
How could you do that? You did the very thing that you KNEW I was the most afraid of. Giving up on me. You gave up on me. I gave you something to read, hoping it would help you understand how I was feeling, where I was coming from. How do you interpret that from
I’m having a hard time today, and I’m feeling very defeated. I feel strangely similar to how I did 8 years ago, after my son was born, and I had to say goodbye. I feel that way now. After what happened on his birthday this year, where it was made clear to me that yes,
He isn’t mine, but I am still his Read More »
