Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of it, all you can do is do…and keep doing. You can’t feel. You can’t stop. There’s no time to slow down. You just simply…continue on. Like, fight and flight both happening at the same time, both extremes somehow working together to just…help you survive. Autopilot. Going through the […]
Accepting that I’m sad Read More »
I need a minute. Or maybe two. Just to catch my breath again. These past few weeks, these past few months even, have been…unimaginably difficult. And truthfully, there’s no end in sight. I need a moment of stillness. Of peace, and stillness…and quietness. No fires to put out. No emergencies. Or hospital stays. Or crises.
Catching my breath Read More »
It’s day 4 of my 7 year old son being in the hospital with respiratory failure due to a severe asthma exacerbation coupled with muscular dystrophy. I’ve been there for every second of it. He hasn’t been stable. I couldn’t leave. I wouldn’t leave. Tonight, I came home. I needed to shower. And sleep. And
Effective communication drastically reduces the occurrence of being surprised and confused by another persons actions. That’s the situation I found myself in last night. My husband and I drove to therapy together, as we have been since being down to only one car. Both of our therapists are in the same office complex, so he’ll
Nothing and everything Read More »
This morning started off basically as badly as it could have. My body is so far and beyond physically exhausted, last night all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Going to sleep before midnight and way too many drinks is a nightly occurrence for me. Yet last night, it was 10pm, I didn’t
When you just need a minute Read More »
I’m drowning faster than I am able to pop my head up above the surface to catch my breath. It all keeps piling on. Like weights added to my feet. I’m trying my best to keep afloat. Get my gasps of air whenever the opportunity presents itself. But it seems like life is working against
Sinking or swimming Read More »
Well…we’re here! We’re officially in the “my brain can’t handle life anymore and I’ll probably ruin any and everything around me” mode. My birth son’s 10th birthday is exactly 2 weeks away. The service for my husbands dad who passed away a few weeks ago happens to be the same day. Life is so impossible
Music and dysfunction Read More »
“I’m going to say something shitty to you now, and I apologize for that” *Takes half a second….realizes that it’s not worth it…I don’t need to say something that would hurt him.* Oh boy. Do you ever have those moments…where you know EXACTLY just what to say, just what feels so fucking correct and accurate……but
Rolling with the punches…kind of Read More »
I feel like I just can’t anymore. And that’s hard. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I feel like can’t do it. I can’t be the person everyone needs me to be. I can’t go to sleep because the nightmares terrify me. Or I’m (accurately so) afraid to fall asleep, because I know damn well
I can’t anymore……..can I? Read More »
Writing isn’t my job. It isn’t a requirement. I don’t get paid, I don’t necessarily get anything out of it (other than organizing my thoughts and hopefully finding support)….and yet, I do it. Freely and willingly. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I have more to say, and the words flow freely….and sometimes, I
It’s hard to tell a story you don’t like Read More »