Therapy

The dreaded mornings

Every day seems to start the same lately. Wake up at 5, after maybe having gotten 4 hours of sleep. Have coffee and spend time with my husband for an hour before he leaves for work. Have more coffee at 6, trying to absorb every quiet, peaceful moment to myself. The closer it comes to …

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Dear alcohol and the one who thinks he owns me,

Tonight you won. Really, your battle began this morning. I’m wiped, I’m exhausted, and I’m hurt. So this will be short. I struggle to defeat you. It feels laughable to even consider it a possibility. Defeat may not, may never be a choice…..but perhaps an occasional victory could be? Tomorrow I’ll face the physical demons …

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Without anger, anxiety quickly turns to sadness.

Another night, alone in the dark with nothing but my thoughts and a full glass. It was a night of heavy emotions from the start. Anxiety sparked the evening. Love attempted healed it. But then it ignited once again, full force this time. Threatened with the possibility of an evening alone while he sleeps…of spending …

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As tolerance increases, tolerance decreases.

Tolerance is a funny thing with many different meanings and uses. Usually, tolerance is a good thing. Our ability to withstand a situation or experience. How patient we may be, how much we can accept, put up with…how long until we crack. Like I said, it’s usually the desired effect. Then there’s the other side. …

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When emotion doesn’t want to be accessed

Today I’m exhausted, more exhausted than usual. I had therapy early this morning. It was only for 1 hour, and it honestly wasn’t very difficult today. But I left there feeling even more exhausted. Even though if doesn’t feel hard, I think the mental load of what we’ve been doing is actually taking a larger …

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How vulnerable is too vulnerable?

How vulnerable is too vulnerable? Does that answer change based on audience? Location? Or even content? What’s the level of vulnerability I can honestly portray, before you, the reader, become uncomfortable? Start to cringe…scroll past without reading? That doesn’t just go for blogging…but writing or speaking in any sense. Who am I talking to, who …

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How do you tell a story when you don’t even understand it?

There is so much going on in my life right now, and it can all be summed up by 1 word – complicated. Every single aspect of my life has been defined by me and everyone else as “complicated”. My kids health? COMPLICATED. My past and trying to come to grips with that all while …

How do you tell a story when you don’t even understand it? Read More »