Tonight has been strange, for no other reason than being relatively unable to identify how I feel. I am unfortunately good at being introspective. Sometimes I think it’s simultaneously one of my biggest gifts and curses. I think anyone with a high level of introspection can agree with that sentiment. But, tonight is just weird. […]
Empty introspection Read More »
Well, safe to say I messed up yet another day at therapy. I’m killing it here, guys. Really. I don’t know why I get so shut down and guarded. I hate it and I didn’t even try to. This morning I woke up and really tried to go to therapy open and positive and just…normal.
When you mess up in therapy (again) Read More »
Him – “Do you want to go to the bathroom and then come to bed? Me – “No. I don’t want anything. I want another drink. (Hesitation) Him – “Well, you can drink more if you want to, but just know it’s not because of a lack of love.” Well played, sir. Well played. This
When you choose love over alcohol Read More »
I know I’m writing a lot at night lately, I usually make a habit of posting earlier in the morning. But I’m having a rather hard time putting words into writing with anything less than 2 drinks in me. I’m finding the fakeness, the false positivity, the false hope…rather detestable right now. I’m just not
When the pain is real and vulnerable Read More »
Sorry is the only word I have to describe it. I’m sorry I mess everything up. I’m sorry I don’t know how to feel things the right way, so I just shut it down and stay silent instead. All I want is to fucking talk about it… but I can’t. I don’t know how to
I’m sorry I mess things up sometimes. Read More »