Five.Four.Three.Two.One. The ball drops and fireworks. Resolutions are made.People scream and people kiss and is it possible to change?Is it really truly possible to leave the past behind? Welcome to Midnight. We assign hope to many things. Each year, so many of us assign hope to this evening, to midnight, to welcoming in the New […]
Is it possible to leave the past behind? Read More »
I heard that you’ve beenSelf-medicating in the quiet of your room,Your sweet, suburban tomb.And if you need a friend,I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve beenHaving some trouble finding your place in the world.I know how much that hurts, But if you need a friendThen please just say the word You’ve
When lyrics are all you have….keep listening. Read More »
Do you ever ask that? Why me, why is this happening, what did I do to deserve this…? All of those questions and more. I know I do. I ask “why”, and the many forms of “why”, all the time. Why do I deserve this, how is that fair, what did I do so wrong…all
Do you ever ask “why”? Read More »
If hope is hard to find, keep looking. If you’re searching for a reason why…keep searching. “The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope.” It can be so easy to forget, and I come back
When hope is hard to find, keep looking Read More »
I’ve lived my life listening to the lies of others, which then turned into lies to myself. I’m not worth it. I’m a cancer. Nothing will ever be okay or better. This is just how it is, and I deserve it. I’m a failure, I ruin everything. I’ve been told I should die. Repeatedly. That
We are more than just the lies we tell ourselves. Read More »
Welcome to the week of Hope. (Sponsored by my therapists great ideas.) For the next few days, things will be…different. It’s homework, but I’m not allowed to be sarcastic about it. Shit, I think this means I’ve said too much. Hope is my favorite word. It’s my favorite feeling. I’ve written about it before, I’ve
You and I are living stories. We all are. Everyone has parts of their story that they don’t like, pages and chapters they wish they could erase. It becomes hard to live in the present, and we frequently try to go back. To relive the past, to do it over. But within that same story,
What if all of it matters? Read More »
I’m just here to say that tonight, I definitely didn’t fuck up therapy. And I am, in fact, proud of myself for it. I didn’t shut down, and I tried to stay present and …focused? Okay, well, I did spend quite a while procrastinating with stories about random events from the past few days…and then
When you DIDN’T mess up in therapy! Read More »
Tonight has been strange, for no other reason than being relatively unable to identify how I feel. I am unfortunately good at being introspective. Sometimes I think it’s simultaneously one of my biggest gifts and curses. I think anyone with a high level of introspection can agree with that sentiment. But, tonight is just weird.
Empty introspection Read More »
Therapy was fine. It was good. I almost felt things. The issue came when a half hour before it was over, my husband texted me. He had a headache before I left, but it was small. 2 hours later, it had developed into “severe”. We all know what that means. My worst nights are the
She told me not to write, so I’m not going to. Read More »
