I feel like I’m losing my voice. I’m struggling with what to say, what to write, or even what to feel. I feel so broken and useless. I’m pushing people away and shutting down. It’s the worst place to be in. I hate this feeling..the feeling of losing my voice and my identity. The only […]
I’m can’t win, therefore I lose. Everything is twisted and dirty and cold. I want to drink it away. Nothing makes sense without the promise of alcohol. I quit. I give up. Universe, you win. The knowledge of the future is clear: but if drink this drink I might forget it. I’ll wake up and
It’s hard to live in a contradictory world. Parts of it will cheer you on, agree with your stance and viewpoint. While others will surely massacre you for it. How dare you think that way, how dare you act that way. You’ll never be able to win in a world that wants you to lose.
Contradictory world Read More »
I reject the pain. I reject the past, and the promise of the pain that the future holds. I don’t want any of this. I’m not even sure what I do want…but I sure do know what I don’t want. Pain. What does that even mean? Can it be more than just subjective? Could anyone
The misunderstanding of pain Read More »
Every now and then, we must write unfiltered. To do so is usually an act of courage. Writing unfiltered in an incredibly filtered and harsh world can be an extremely difficult task. But it’s something we need to do. It allows others to see us for who we really are. And it allows for others
Filtered (Unfiltered) Read More »
Dear nightmares…… Tonight, you will not get me. I feel you, I see you creeping up from the shadows. You’ve been the forefront of my existence for too long now. Your content has been all to real…nothing short of a horror moving featuring my real life. Tonight, I won’t let the fear of you drink
Today was “good”. I always put that word in quotation marks because really, what defines a good day? What makes it “good” for me might be completely unacceptable to someone else. I usually find that to be the case, that my “good” days are sort of like…“holy shit, that’s a low standard”. But today was…it
I’m okay….but I’m not. I’m fighting…but all I want to do is quit. I want to die…but I can’t give up. I want you, but I don’t. Please go away. Why did you leave? Don’t you know that I fucking need you??? No one loves me. I’m a cancer. I’m a fuck up. I’ll never
Today is my first day back in therapy since before the holidays, 2 weeks ago. Now, 2 weeks may not feel like a long time to go between therapy sessions, especially when some people only go that often to begin with. But I usually go twice a week, and at least one of those days
Returning from a (short) break in therapy Read More »
A new year, a new chapter. New goals, and hopes and dreams. We’re here in day 3 of this new year, and perhaps it isn’t going as well as you hoped it might. Perhaps that goal you set, that resolution you made, already seems too far off course. Maybe you made a promise to yourself
You do not need to wait to start again. Read More »
