It’s just past 7pm. My husband got home from work an hour ago, and he is already in bed trying to sleep. It happens often. He’ll get a migraine and just be dead to the world sleeping until it goes away. I get it. It sucks for him. But it’s also pretty miserable for me. …
(((I know, I know. I’m writing a lot the past few days. I tend to do that. I feel things and I either completely shut down and stop all forms of communication, or I just try to write it all out. I guess I’m in that phase now?))) A hangover is guaranteed for tomorrow. But …
It’s not a secret that I’m struggling. I feel completely alone and vulnerable and just crappy. Last night was rough. My husband had anxieties that I could feel, but he didn’t communicate them with me until after I was already affected by it. He later did, but the fact that he lied about it in …
Sometimes, something happens in your life that is so big, so painful, so thought consuming…whatever it is, it’s huge. To you, it feels like everything. It could be an anniversary, a traumatic event, a breakup, a loss, whatever it is, to you, it’s everything. It feels like the biggest thing in the world. When it …
When you question how the Earth is still spinning Read More »
In a world full of turmoil and pain, I find myself struggling to find my footing. I know what I want, I know what I need, but it doesn’t seem to come easily for me. I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’m feeling lost, betrayed, and so, so angry. Angry about what happened, angry …
Usually I love bad weather days. There’s an undeniable romance about the weather matching your mood. This morning everything just feels foggy. The air, my lungs, I can’t see very far. It’s hard to breathe, hard to focus, hard to even want to. My future feels too distant. Who am I kidding, tomorrow feels too …
No matter how much I want to, I’ll never be able to speak the words that my head is screaming. I’ll always be a disappointment. Burdened to carry the weight of the world myself. I need to get this away from me. I need to share the weight of it. This is crushing me, and …
I have a bad feeling about tonight. All day I’ve felt a certain sense of disconnect. Alone, isolated, panicked. It will be a night of bad choices, I can feel it from now. I could feel it brewing since last night. Drinking feels like the only way to ease this anxiety. I need love, a …
You’re mind can’t fuck you if it’s silenced. The nightmares can’t scare you if they don’t exist. There’s no fear in closing your eyes if you don’t make the choice to close your eyes. Another drink will take it all away. Will strip you of your choice. Thank god. I can’t take another night in …
The nights are lonely. The nights are liars. It tells me everything I’m afraid of. The nighttime tells me I deserve the pain. I deserve the suffering. It reminds me in my nightmares. I’m lucky if I go a night without screaming in my sleep, waking at least one person up. Last night I wasn’t …