Sometimes, things just get so bad that I shut down, even from myself. I know it seemed like things couldn’t possibly get worse…but I assure you, they did. The kind of worse where I hit some new lows that I haven’t hit in a few years. The kind of low that I’d describe as almost […]
Now don’t lose your fight, kid Read More »
What do you do? What do you do when it’s 12:01 in the morning. You want to sleep. In fact…you’re desperate for sleep. Yet…there’s something in the way. That nagging…loud and getting louder and louder voice…telling you to stop. To give up. To go away. It’s tomorrow now. Just barely. Maybe we still consider it
When words are hard to find, when my voice gets silenced and writing becomes impossible….thats one of the biggest red flags that exists for me. There are some things that, over time, I’ve learned are major signs that something is wrong. Namely, not being able to write, and also the opposite…writing a ton. Writing because
Effective communication drastically reduces the occurrence of being surprised and confused by another persons actions. That’s the situation I found myself in last night. My husband and I drove to therapy together, as we have been since being down to only one car. Both of our therapists are in the same office complex, so he’ll
Nothing and everything Read More »
This morning started off basically as badly as it could have. My body is so far and beyond physically exhausted, last night all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Going to sleep before midnight and way too many drinks is a nightly occurrence for me. Yet last night, it was 10pm, I didn’t
When you just need a minute Read More »
Well…we’re here! We’re officially in the “my brain can’t handle life anymore and I’ll probably ruin any and everything around me” mode. My birth son’s 10th birthday is exactly 2 weeks away. The service for my husbands dad who passed away a few weeks ago happens to be the same day. Life is so impossible
Music and dysfunction Read More »
“I’m going to say something shitty to you now, and I apologize for that” *Takes half a second….realizes that it’s not worth it…I don’t need to say something that would hurt him.* Oh boy. Do you ever have those moments…where you know EXACTLY just what to say, just what feels so fucking correct and accurate……but
Rolling with the punches…kind of Read More »
If there’s one thing that’s absolutely true in life, it’s that grief is not one size fits all. How one person feels, or outwardly handles grief may be completely different than you, or not what you’d expect…and that’s fine. It’s one of the those things that’s just so individualized and so personal, and you can’t
Grief looks different on everyone Read More »
My head isn’t a fun place to be in this morning. It’s dark, it’s scary, it’s fragile… Last night my husband and I had therapy together with both of of therapists. So, it was all 4 of us together. We’ve been talking about doing this for a while, and I’m glad it happened. It was
Getting my head right Read More »
Not often, or, actually, probably never, do I start blog posts out with a teaser. But ooooh boy, today is the start of some BIG changes for us. It was sudden, simultaneously discussed for years and impulsive, possibly stupid, but very exciting. I’m officially share about it on Tuesday. But…yeah. I’m beyond excited. And also
Big changes, and healing a hurting heart. Read More »
