If there’s one true thing I can say this morning, it’s that I’m having a hard time right now. I feel like my world is made up of shards of glass. And every step I take, no matter which direction I go, I’m at risk of getting hurt. Yesterday I had an hours long panic […]
Aiming for a mediocre day Read More »
The anxiety is hitting hard tonight. And I don’t know where to put it. Last night was hard. It didn’t end how I wanted it to. The anxiety over my husband going back to work was too much. The stress of accepting (or not accepting) my new “normal” was too much. I drank way too
Nowhere to go to escape the pain and hide from life Read More »
8 years ago, I said yes to my best friend. And he said yes to me. One week ago today, the thought of seeing our 8th anniversary together was threatened, when a deer ran through his drivers side window and severely injured him. This year has been hell for us. We’ve had a lot thrown
Thriving and surviving. 8 years later. Read More »
I’ve been in a pretty big funk since my husband got into his accident on Tuesday. He went through a trauma…but so did I. There are things I can’t unsee, can’t unhear, and can’t unfeel. I can’t talk about any of it with him, and everyone else has been pretty unavailable when it comes to
Unprocessed trauma, and all of these foreign feelings. Read More »
Yesterday morning was a completely normal morning. Until it wasn’t. Until it would become one of those moments that none of us would ever forget, that would have a forever long impact. I left my house at 7:15am. Dropped my 7 year old off at school at 7:31am. Got gas, I was on E. Continued
Everything can change. Read More »
Hurt is….it’s an interesting concept. And it means a lot of different things. Physically, emotionally, different levels and layers of it….. I guess it could best be described as an onion. Layers and levels and varying degrees of pain. The past few days…I have been HURT. With a capital H, and all the others capital
Hurt. But how do you proceed? Read More »
Yesterday was a whole day. All of them seem to be lately. As always for a Monday, it ended with therapy. For some reason I was more nervous than normal going into it, but I think that’s just because I was feeling some pretty intense things, and that doesn’t always translate super well. We talked
Unnecessary self hatred, and worth being loved. Read More »
It’s that time again…that magical hour I seem to get once or twice a week of complete solitude. When no one is left in the house but me and the dogs. And, oh, is that so very much my favorite hour. No one needs me, no one is talking or making noise or crying or
Self care…wherever you can find it Read More »
Sometimes, nights have no business being as good as they are. Like tonight, for instance. Last night, my husband got the news that his dad, who has been on hospice battling many forms of cancer, had less than 2 months to live. His throat cancer had returned (on top of the liver and colon cancer),
Hard, but not broken. And worth it anyway. Read More »
Normal. adjective 1. Confirming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. Yesterday was…a good…normal…day. I’m extraordinarily hesitant to define it as such, because normalcy is just such a craved and foreign phenomenon around here. And, in fact, it was such a weird day, that it couldn’t POSSIBLY be defined as “normal”. My oldest son stayed
When “normal” isn’t normal. Read More »
