What does it mean when I honestly don’t know what’s okay and what isn’t? I know the difference for other people, there is no grey area there. I know how to treat other people, I can clearly see the boundaries for anyone but myself. I have a firm grasp on right and wrong, appropriate or […]
If it’s not okay for you, why is it for me? Read More »
FUCK. How much no is no enough? I was uncomfortable. I was touched wayyyy too much. For the first time, maybe not really the first time, safe felt very unsafe. I kept trying to get away. I didn’t want to be touched. No part of me. Not my hand, not my foot, definitely not a
Please don’t touch me Read More »
I consider myself to be a relatively easygoing person. (I very well may laugh at this line at any point in the future.) While I say that, I do absolutely thrive with consistency and predictability. I like my routine, I like a plan, I like to plan ahead. It honestly is where I thrive. Week
The unexpected cancel Read More »
I saw your face today. Of course, never in the way I’d most hope to. It’s been a while. Of all the things covid took from the world, it took your precious face from me. Pictures became masked, adventures became nonexistent, birthdays became solitary. I have missed every moment from afar. I’d have missed them
It’s just typical day in the world of special needs parenting. Wake up, breakfast, naps, therapy. Tuesday is OT (occupational therapy) day. Everyone is in a decent enough mood. No fires to put out (except for the literal mini fire in the toaster at 6am, thanks husband). But I still have this heaviness within me.
When there’s “nothing wrong” Read More »
Really…what does it mean? What does it look like when one trusts someone, or is able to be vulnerable? How can I overcome this massive blockade? I don’t have much experience with healthy relationships. My marriage is one, my therapist is another, some solid friendships here and there. And still, even in those, my comfort
What does it mean to trust? Read More »
(This post is in no way directed to my husband, who is in fact the best father I’ve ever witnessed, and to him I indeed wish him the very, very best Father’s Day ever. You’re the very best dad to our boys. I love you with all of me.) I didn’t hear from you on
Is it my job to wish you a happy Father’s Day? Read More »
The name of my first blog was “The fight for my life”. That’s really what it was at the time, I was fighting for myself. For a reason to exist, to push through all of the pain (physical and emotional) that I was going through. That blog detailed my journey of all that I was
Something to live for Read More »
