Well, I don’t know about you, but that weekend certainly did not feel long enough to me. All night long, in my half sleep state, I kept thinking it was still the weekend, and that I wasn’t about to wake up to a Monday. But still, Monday came, and here we are. This morning started […]
Not ready for Monday Read More »
Tonight sucked. I begged for it not to. I begged for honesty. For communication, for openness…for showing up for one another. But that didn’t happen. I felt blamed. I felt accused. Parenting is hard enough without being 100% on the same page. And sometimes, we’re just not. There was no communication, or mutual connection, or
Lost a 2 year battle. Read More »
It’s no secret that lately, I’ve been heading down a dark path. A path that I’m honestly trying to get off of. I’m working a lot harder in therapy and trying to stick to the goals we come up with, I’m being more open and honest…I opened up to my best friend about it… But
I don’t want to burden you, but thank you for being there. Read More »
Well, todays the day. Today is finally surgery day for my mom. She got diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago and we have all been anxiously awaiting this day. Today is really when treatment begins and when we will finally find out more information. After her surgery we’ll learn more, like if she’ll
It’s a night. Nothing is wrong except for the fact that everything is wrong. Lighters are tempting. Sharp objects are tempting. Pills are tempting. And I just want it all. I want to die. I want out. I fucking want out. There are parts of me that don’t care about the joy or the love
Therapy was mostly ok last night. My husband wanted to come, so he and the baby ended up coming for the second hour. The first hour we worked on our weekly goal…which ended up just being a combination of the previous 2 weeks goals. To (accurately) write everything down…even if I think it doesn’t count…and
When the baby comes to therapy Read More »
I know myself as a failure. That’s how I recognize myself the best. Not good enough, inadequate…an imposter in my own life. No matter what role in life I take on, I’ll never do it justice. A mom? Please. Not good enough. You’re lucky they’re still here. Still okay. Not to mention the fucked up
Well, we did it. We finally got our power back on last night after 3 days in the dark. It was cold but we survived. I did not do well with my drinking goal last night. I’ve been struggling a lot with darker thoughts lately and I think because of that, I’m compensating by drinking
Fragile, but fighting. Read More »
Aside from the drama I’m about to tell you, I’ll fist start off by saying that we’re currently in an icy winter storm, and we’ve had no power since yesterday, and likely won’t for a few more days. Yaaaaaay Texas. Anyway. What I have yet to disclose or talk about, is that my mom was