This morning has not been my favorite morning. It’s 7:13am right now, when I’m starting to write this blog. I woke up late, at 6:18am, when I usually get up at 6 or earlier. That only left me with 12 minutes of “coffee time” before it was time to get the kids up and going […]
Not off to a great start Read More »
Whew. Here’s the update post we’ve all been waiting for! My husband is officially home. He flew back in late Saturday night, and yesterday was the first day he was really home. We didn’t tell the kids he was coming back (because I didn’t even believe it myself), so they were really surprised and happy
The first day of “normal” Read More »
I’m in a strange phase of life right now. I’ve been in it for a while, but it feels pretty significant right now. This…constant push and pull. The… I love you, I need you, please don’t leave me… I don’t need you, I’m fine on my own, go away. With my husband, with my friends,
Alone, but not alone…? Read More »
“I’ll be home in a few days” “I’ll be home Wednesday, I promise” “I’m booking a flight today. I’ll be home on Friday. I’m serious, I’m holding my ground this time.” All of this has been said by my husband the past few days. and every single time, I responded with “sure. Okay”. Not once
Hospice, fear, and insecurity Read More »
Tonight sucks. I’m feeling alone. (Deja fucking vu, right?) I don’t think this phase of life will ever end. I’m beginning to feel like my husband will never come home. (His dad is very sick and he’s been taking care of him for the past few weeks). These nights get…intense. Sleeping has gotten harder. The
Things feel like they’re as bad as they possible can be right now. Now, I know, if your my therapist, you don’t necessarily give a shit about how it feels. And I supposedly should be doing better anyway. Therapy last night was bad. It just was. And after 2 bad weeks in a row, that
When it all comes crumbling down Read More »
Tonight is hard. Today was hard. The last 2 weeks have been hard. Tonight might be the hardest. My husband and I got really bad news today. While multiple states and hours apart physically, we both got absolutely devastating news. I’m trying to lift him up. He’s trying to….idk. He feels badly. And wants desperately
60 seconds at a time Read More »
Well, my husband has been gone for a while now. For honestly, what feels like forever. (He’s taking care of his dad who has been in a serious health decline.) I guess I’m feeling particularly lonely tonight. And it isn’t even 9pm yet! Last night I joked that after 9pm, my life basically just becomes
When the nights get longer and longer Read More »
I guess I’m feeling particularly lonely tonight, so I thought I’d share my most random, adhd, late night thoughts with you all. (Because I know you all care so much, right?) – After 9pm, my entire life just becomes one big ama! (Ask me anything). Seriously. All walls drop, and I just get very comfortable
Random, late night thoughts. (AKA getting to know me?) Read More »
Things are….not necessarily better. But I’m…managing. ……? (I think?) My husband is still gone. And likely will be for quite some time. For reference, he sent me a text this afternoons that said “you’re not the only one wiping butts!” I responded by sending him a cute picture of our baby, who just so happened
It is what it is………..? Read More »