(((I know, I know. I’m writing a lot the past few days. I tend to do that. I feel things and I either completely shut down and stop all forms of communication, or I just try to write it all out. I guess I’m in that phase now?))) A hangover is guaranteed for tomorrow. But […]
Alcohol vs. …everything? Read More »
Tonight is an absolute shit show, where I’m sure I’ve made mistakes. All I want to do is give up. All I want to do is listen to the demons and the voices in my head telling my my life isn’t worth it. That all I cause is pain and burden and problems. That voice
Another night spent welcoming the morning. An empty glass begging to be refilled. No thought consumes my mind more than the anxiety of an empty glass. He begs to go to bed. Not in words, but in actions. This divide is causing issues I don’t know how to solve. “I’m used to it”, he says.
Oh, Sunday evening. Almost as bad as a Monday morning, but not quite. The weekend went too quickly, as they always do. It’s almost time to put the kids to sleep and my husband and I will finally get the quiet alone time together that we desperately need. Last night we had to be around
Over caffeinated, under rested. Read More »
It’s another miserable night. Sitting alone in the bathroom with a drink in hand, struggling to make the right choices. I feel like shit. Do I deserve it? Is he wrong? Does he care? Each drink tells me a different story. One more and I’m right. Another and I’m a piece of shit. Deserving only
Hey there, sleep. It’s been a while since we’ve been in sync, hasn’t it? I’ve not seen much of you lately. We maybe spent 3 hours together last night. And not much more any other thought this past week. But, sleep, you’re supposed to help heal me. You’re supposed to help me recover from the
It’s nearly 1 in the morning. My husband is asleep despite my attempts of procrastination to keep him up with me. I’m tired and I have less than 5 hours until I need to be awake and useful to the world, but I can’t close my eyes. Fear consumes me in these hours. The fear
When tomorrow is already here Read More »
Hello again, alcohol. I did well these past few days with less of you, but I knew it was a temporary fix. Why would I need to drink when literally in “the happiest place on earth”? I had no need to. Not that one ever has a “need” for alcohol…but still. I drank to sleep,
The curse and comfort of alcohol Read More »
Oh, my poor brother. He’s sharing a room with my husband and I for the first few days while we are on vacation (normally he lives in another state), and I’m not sure he knew what he was getting himself into. My husband knows this, he’s adapted, but my brother? Not so much. See, I
Don’t share a room with an insomniac Read More »
Well crap. If that isn’t a handful, I don’t know what is. They feed off each other. They exist to torture me. I see no point for them to be exist otherwise. Combine all of that with loneliness? And you’ve got the hot mess express, ticket for one, rolling in real quick. You’d think drinking
Alcohol, insomnia, and nightmares. Read More »
