The Series Of Very Unfortunate Events

Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

The theme of this week, this year even, it seems…is difficult conversations. Things that have never needed to be said, yet need saying anyway. This has been a week of confrontation, but not in a bad way. Difficult conversations, gentle confrontation, a resist to the natural reaction of me running away… It’s all hard. It …

Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Read More »

Do the broken parts always stay broken?

Does it exist? Is there hope, or potential, or even the slightest, most remote possibility that this part of me can ever be healed? Shit, healed is a stretch. I’d be elated with functional. This part of life shouldn’t hurt. The part where someone who is safe and loving…loves you. You shouldn’t be afraid. You …

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When physical touch makes you cringe

Every…however often it is…things seems to feel worse. The shift is subtle, and usually, no one would be able to tell. But there’s one area where the shift becomes incredibly blatant and apparent. I don’t smile, I don’t want to be touched, I’m not going to pretend to be happy for your benefit…I’m exhausted all …

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Dear alcohol and the one who thinks he owns me,

Tonight you won. Really, your battle began this morning. I’m wiped, I’m exhausted, and I’m hurt. So this will be short. I struggle to defeat you. It feels laughable to even consider it a possibility. Defeat may not, may never be a choice…..but perhaps an occasional victory could be? Tomorrow I’ll face the physical demons …

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How do you tell a story when you don’t even understand it?

There is so much going on in my life right now, and it can all be summed up by 1 word – complicated. Every single aspect of my life has been defined by me and everyone else as “complicated”. My kids health? COMPLICATED. My past and trying to come to grips with that all while …

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Even on vacation I can’t escape the flashbacks

I’ve been doing a pretty good job keeping the struggles of my reality out of my Disney vacation. I’ve managed to keep the real world distant from the (relative) safety and peace of Disney World. It’s something I’ve needed…a few days to just completely detach from my life. Up until last night, I’d been able …

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