When I woke up yesterday, I was so excited it was Friday. As you may or may not know by now, Friday is the one day of the week that I don’t have any standing appointments. Often, I’ll schedule doctor appointments on Fridays, but not always. My excitement for my “quieter than normal day” quickly […]
Sick babies, cozy cuddles, and worst case scenarios. Read More »
Tonight, this whole year, would feel incomplete if I didn’t say something today. Today was my last day I’ll ever spend being 28. Everything considered…in a life as hard as mine is…28 was a really good year. Being as it was my favorite number…I had high hopes for it. I’ll have a lot to say
The last day of 28 Read More »
Today, my baby, who is now really my middle child (as of 7 weeks ago), turns 4. My little Phoenix Leo. A name that absolutely demands strength. A boy who’s body betrays him. Weak muscles and plagued with fatigue. But that’s the only weak thing about him. This boy is fierce. He is strong willed.
Strength. What is is? Where does it come from? How can I find some? Tomorrow, I have therapy. And I’ll have to somehow find the strength to talk about the most impossible topic. I haven’t written about it yet, for some pretty obvious reasons…..but I will soon. This is one of the rare things that
I’ve lived my life listening to the lies of others, which then turned into lies to myself. I’m not worth it. I’m a cancer. Nothing will ever be okay or better. This is just how it is, and I deserve it. I’m a failure, I ruin everything. I’ve been told I should die. Repeatedly. That
We are more than just the lies we tell ourselves. Read More »
Oh, hello there, darkness. It’s you and I, once again. Why do we always meet up here? On these quiet, dreadful evenings. It’s Friday, thank God, and this week has been… Well, let’s not mince words. This week has been absolute shit. For so many more reasons than one. I’m glad I’m still here….I know
Darkness, tonight you do not win. Read More »
I don’t like this picture. But it’s also my favorite. It’s a telling picture, to say the least. It’s not an attractive photo of me by any means, I look exhausted at best. But it’s one that means the most to me. What you can’t see from this angle is his little hand. He’s reaching
Love is the most healing force on the planet. Read More »
It’s still dark out, my husband has already left for work. An earlier than usual morning for him. I have to start my day and go get the kids up in a few minutes. Plastering on a smile and shoving my emotions down is the last thing I feel like doing right now. But I
Everything hurts but I’m stronger than the setbacks Read More »
Hey there, sadness. Today you win. I guess I have to recognize that. I’ll call you what you are instead of pretending you don’t exist. I won’t call you anger or anything else when I know that isn’t really true. It’s hard to keep up with you sometimes, sadness. You put some pretty big demands
Tonight is an absolute shit show, where I’m sure I’ve made mistakes. All I want to do is give up. All I want to do is listen to the demons and the voices in my head telling my my life isn’t worth it. That all I cause is pain and burden and problems. That voice
