Tonight has started out like all the other nights in the past where I ended up almost killing myself, or drinking so much that it nearly ended in tragedy. I’m in a fragile place right now. My husband and I have NOT always been on solid ground. Probably 3ish years ago, things were horrible and […]
Proceed with caution… Read More »
First of all, today is a special day because it’s me and my husbands 7th wedding anniversary. So…yay for that❤️. But I’ll get back to that. Yesterday turned into a shitstorm quite quickly. After I wrote my post about having completely no energy, no spoons and just not feeling very okay at all…my son, once
The introvert has left the building Read More »
Well, for the first time in nearly a year, and since the beginning of my pregnancy 10 months ago…it happened. I’m almost out of alcohol. I stopped drinking as soon as I got pregnant, which means that all of the alcohol I had already went unused and untouched, waiting for me to return to it,
A familiar disagreement Read More »
The good husband. The loyal husband. The “give me what I want” husband. The good husband takes many forms. Last night, it comes in the form of a bit of selfishness. Give her what she wants if she gives me what I want. That’s the game we’re playing. But the good wife knows the rules.
The “good” husband Read More »
Well, this could be my last weekend still pregnant, and I was hoping it would be more…I don’t know. Enjoyable? Instead, it’s been basically a rough weekend, and that does upset me. My kids are being…ugh. It’s just not the best time here right now. My 3 year old is currently going through a phase
When things just feel off Read More »
Well, it’s day…….I have no idea. It’s day something. I’m lonelier than I expected, and quite frankly, this is some bullshit. By some actual miracle, the kids and I are still symptom free and I am still testing negative. So any complaints I make, just know that it’s worth it to keep them (and me)
Masks and sleepless nights Read More »
I woke up this morning feeling…off. I don’t know why, but I just have this feeling like shits gonna hit the fan. Things feel off in my marriage. Not bad, there’s no problems or fights or really anything that I can put my finger on…but I just feel like there’s something off. Which probably means
The calm before the storm? But I’m staying in the moment. Read More »
The past few days, I’ve felt it coming. But I’m officially fighting the beast from within. The anxiety of it all starting coming to a breaking point last night. It had been a ROUGH day with the kids, and I was just fucking spent. My husband was going to the gym after work, which he
When anxiety turns to irritability and worse Read More »
When therapy goes well, everything else seems to go well, too. Last night, thankfully, therapy went well. And by “went well”, I don’t mean that’s she’s “nice” to me, or easy on me, or anything like that…(although that is always preferred)…I mean that we end up having a good conversation, I don’t feel overly anxious
When therapy starts to feel healing Read More »
Strong people don’t always want to be strong. Sometimes, we just need permission to fall apart. That’s how I feel. People are always telling my I’m strong, that they “don’t know how I do it”, etc etc. But I don’t always want to be strong. It’s…exhausting. It takes every ounce of effort that I have
Permission to fall apart? Read More »
