I had a blog post written and ready to go for this morning, but then, this morning happened. And it suddenly wasn’t the content matter that felt important for today. I’m feeling so disconnected from everyone lately. The past few weeks have been rough. Going from twice a week to once a week in therapy […]
Disconnected and exhausted Read More »
Ah, Friday. The only day of the week that my kids don’t have any therapies, and I have no schedule to keep but my own. Usually, I hate Fridays. I hate being stuck in the house with no where to go and my dads judging eyes and comments about any little thing I do. But,
This morning, I had an appointment with my genetic counselor. Later this afternoon, I will have my 19 week anatomy scan, and a few days later, I will see my maternal fetal medicine doctor to further discuss my high risk pregnancy. Then tonight, I have therapy. If that sounds like a lot, that’s because it
When self reflection sucks Read More »
While not the intention, that was the result. When my husband and I decided to try for our 3rd (my 4th) baby, we knew things would have to change. I’d have to be sober. Totally and completely. From day 1. Something that I haven’t been in over 3 years, and even then, only ever interrupted
Another “save me from myself” baby Read More »
If there’s one thing I try to do, it’s keep it real here. How I feel is relatable. I know I’m not the only person that goes through things like this, and I’m not the only person that feels like this. It’s always helped me to feel less alone….less isolated. I try to be as
The (other) hard side of depression. Read More »
The Monday after a holiday weekend is always harder than a “regular” Monday. Yesterday was Greek Easter, so we celebrated that with the kids and then went to have dinner with our family. Any time there’s a holiday, it leaves me feeling way too spent and drained. Like, the amount of effort and energy that
I don’t feel like Mondaying today Read More »
Oh, chick season. My favorite time of year. This year we added 7 babies to my existing flock of 5, and in July, I’ll be adding 3 more ducklings to my existing 3 ducks as well. These babies were born on my birth sons birthday and got here the day after. (No, of course I
When you’re sad, you get babies! Read More »
April 3rd, 2014“I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. This long without cutting, drinking, smoking…I can’t believe it’s all almost over. I had a doctor appointment the other day and I’m going to be induced tonight on the 3rd, and hopefully deliver on the 4th. That was my actual due date. I should’ve called
From the journal of a girl who is about to lose her son… Read More »
In typical April fashion, I am feeling like SHIT right now. “I know I’m pregnant, but can I kill myself anyway? Maybe it would just be easier for everyone.” I asked my husband that question earlier today. Half joking, but also mostly not joking. I feel lower than I’d like to admit. I’m exhausted, and
This morning got off to a very bad start, which does nothing to help my already….sensitive…state of being. We should say sensitive instead of suicidal, right? Okay. Good. My 5 year old did something impulsive and kind of dumb, didn’t get enough sleep, and is in a particularly difficult kind of mood. The sad, crying,
A bad start can only get better…right? Read More »
