It’s just past 7pm. My husband got home from work an hour ago, and he is already in bed trying to sleep. It happens often. He’ll get a migraine and just be dead to the world sleeping until it goes away. I get it. It sucks for him. But it’s also pretty miserable for me. […]
An uncomfortably familiar night. Read More »
(((I know, I know. I’m writing a lot the past few days. I tend to do that. I feel things and I either completely shut down and stop all forms of communication, or I just try to write it all out. I guess I’m in that phase now?))) A hangover is guaranteed for tomorrow. But
Alcohol vs. …everything? Read More »
Tonight is an absolute shit show, where I’m sure I’ve made mistakes. All I want to do is give up. All I want to do is listen to the demons and the voices in my head telling my my life isn’t worth it. That all I cause is pain and burden and problems. That voice
As the title states….yeah. I just have no idea. Tomorrow I’ll have more more collected (sober?) thoughts. But for tonight… My husband came to therapy again tonight. We’ve been “sunshine and rainbows” this past week after shit seemed to hit the fan last week. Very typical of our relationship….ebbs and flows. It’s more often good
Another night spent welcoming the morning. An empty glass begging to be refilled. No thought consumes my mind more than the anxiety of an empty glass. He begs to go to bed. Not in words, but in actions. This divide is causing issues I don’t know how to solve. “I’m used to it”, he says.
When you’re taking your emergency anxiety medicine before 7am…you know it’s going to be a rough day. It’s not really strictly “emergency” medicine…I just don’t like how it makes me feel. I only take it when the anxiety is so bad I feel like I could literally explode. Lately, anxiety has been a constant presence
Anxiety and the power of a hug Read More »
Oh, Sunday evening. Almost as bad as a Monday morning, but not quite. The weekend went too quickly, as they always do. It’s almost time to put the kids to sleep and my husband and I will finally get the quiet alone time together that we desperately need. Last night we had to be around
Over caffeinated, under rested. Read More »
It’s another miserable night. Sitting alone in the bathroom with a drink in hand, struggling to make the right choices. I feel like shit. Do I deserve it? Is he wrong? Does he care? Each drink tells me a different story. One more and I’m right. Another and I’m a piece of shit. Deserving only
Today has been a weird day. I had 2 hour therapy (for me) this morning, which went well, or at least I think it did. But ever since then, I’ve had this heavy and lingering feeling of anxiety. I don’t know what caused it, and I don’t know why I feel so bad…but I just
Anxiety out of nowhere Read More »
Hey there, sleep. It’s been a while since we’ve been in sync, hasn’t it? I’ve not seen much of you lately. We maybe spent 3 hours together last night. And not much more any other thought this past week. But, sleep, you’re supposed to help heal me. You’re supposed to help me recover from the
